Children's sports is the worst thing that ever happened to adults
Little League Baseball was founded in 1939 and parents have been behaving badly ever since. Some time after, the other sports – soccer, basketball, and football fell in line. And then less popular sports followed. And so did the parents’ behavior.
That parents act badly is not particularly insightful. I’m sure you have your own horror stories. You may even be guilty of a few infractions. It’s ok – dreams of scholarships and pro contracts can be seductive.
What I’m more interested in is why parents behave so badly.
About 20 years ago, long before I had any kids of my own, a gray-haired gentleman warned me that something had changed. That was back when gray hair suggested to me wisdom – now that I have a few I know better. The two are positively uncorrelated.
But what this melanin-depleted gentleman was saying made some sense. “It’s the Cult of the Child!” he said. He was complaining about the trend of incessant picture taking – not on cell phones mind you, but with actual cameras. Clicking shutters became the background soundtrack at every 8-year-old soccer game, bar mitzvah, and 3rd grade “graduation” in the country. And whatever had changed, had extended to other weird new ideas like “play dates” and destination birthday parties and bike helmets. But the real talisman of this cult was that $7 green and white paper cup filled with “grande” pumpkin spice peppermint caramel hot chocolate. I hear the Roman children drank something similar as the barbarians approached.
But back to the issue at hand. The other day at an elementary school basketball game, I watched a dad taking cell phone videos of his kid. Moments later, during a timeout, with 9 other kids huddled around the coach, this dad pulled his kid up into the stands, away from the team, to show him video evidence of what the kid needed to do next possession to restore dad’s shrinking self-esteem. Poor kid was lucky to have dad there too – otherwise I’m not sure the kid could have mustered the zero points and 6 turnovers he had after the video breakdown. Well done, dad.
Clearly this fella has low self-awareness or maybe he just thinks no one is watching. So I’m going to do him and all other parents with similar instincts a service. “Hey mom, hey dad, please know that I’m up here in the stands, alone, judging you. And you’re not winning.”
Anyway, gotta run. I saw something in today’s game my kid could do better and I need to show him. The cult spares no one.
