Jeff Bezos is no smarter than the average 5-year-old
But much smarter than the average adult
Jeff Bezos, who founded a tiny online bookstore at precisely the moment I was making terrible career choices, made a wonderful observation recently. I ignored him in 1998, an unforgivable mistake. But I listen to him now. And he in turn sends his elves, daily, to my doorstep. We have a great thing going.
Anyway, he said something to prodigious podcaster Lex Fridman that so pinged my tuning fork that I haven’t slept well since:
We humans are not really truth seeking animals. We are social animals.
Wow. Wow. Had I heard that in 1998 it would have saved me A LOT of pain. First of all, I’d probably work for you today, Bezos, because I think you’re really smart. And second, all of these years I’ve been telling the truth to my parents and siblings and in-laws and wife has not been great for me.
No, I’d rather not come over for the holiday.
No, I do not like the soup.
No, those shoes do not look good.
Turns out they weren’t really asking me for answers to those questions?! Turns out I was flying north while they were simply trying to flock, like birds of a feather. Fascinating.
But I don’t think Bezos has it entirely right. A refinement of his proposition might be:
We humans older than 12 are not truth seeking animals. We are social animals.
This week my 5-year-old daughter came to me in tears after her brother had perpetrated some unforgivable injustice. I seized the moment:
Me: When someone does something bad to us, sometimes the best way to handle it is to turn the other cheek.
5-year-old: No. That makes no sense. I’m not doing that.
Truth seeking animal. And of course, I knew she was right.
It’s not clear to me when or why most humans become so compromised. Harvard professor Cass Sunstein says that we suffer from something called “reputational cascades.” The idea is that we will conform to bad ideas just to get along. We avoid telling the truth if it will damage our reputation. But I, foolishly, had no idea about the damage a straight answer might inflict on my own reputation. I guess that explains the very uninspired Christmas presents I usually receive from family.
But 5-year-olds don’t care about their reputations. And I like it that way.
