It's not too hot for North Korea

I took five of my kids to the zoo today.  The zoo on July 29 isn’t great.  It smells weird.  It’s hot.  My mood was, well, below average.  Come to think of it, my average mood is below average.  And the zoo doesn’t help.

Have you noticed how they often build zoos on the side of mountains?  It’s strange because there aren’t any mountains where we live but somehow there’s still a 1,000 foot vertical drop between the parking lot and all the fun.  I managed to hold it together all day today until the alpine trek back to the car when one of them dared the inevitable trigger.  “It’s sooooooo HOT!!!”

I shot back.  “So hot?  It’s summer!  You’re ALL so…so...so… whiny and weak!”  And, sensing I had the floor, I decided to really make today count.  “You’re like the opposite of what America needs.  We need quiet, steady warriors who are cool when things don’t go their way, not whiny babies!  What happens when North Korea invades?  Or you are in the College World Series with bases loaded?  Or you are negotiating a huge deal to buy another company?  Or prosecuting a murder trial?  Are you going to be worried about how hot it is?”

Total silence.

Then, a soft question from the back seat: “North Korea is going to invade us?”

[I sure hope not, but if they do, they’d better hope they don’t make landfall anywhere near a zoo on a day like today.] 

Certain I’ve done lasting damage, I go to the oldest trick, really the only trick, in my very thin book, “Hey guys, who wants some water ice?”

I believe it is peace for our time. – Neville Chamberlain